Actively

The fire is still actively burning… 300 homes (at least.)

For the past few days I’ve initiated the “Taco Bell Diet” after my last post.  I walk to Taco Bell and back when I decide I get hungry.  I measured it in my car and it’s 2 miles round trip.  I know it isn’t much, but it’s me getting out of the house and moving my body, and that’s what I need.  Ever since school got out, I have been having a hard time getting out and doing something.  As much as I hate to say it, I was an itsy bitsy bit depressed for a few reasons, plus I’ve been overwhelmed and stressed out about the wedding, and getting everything ready to go and not live in Yuma for the summer, and live out of a suitcase and going back and forth between towns. 

Anyway, when I got to Colorado Springs I thought I’d be able to get out and go hiking in Garden of the Gods and Pikes Peak and Waldo Canyon.  But considering:

All of the mountain is closed off and unavailable for me to venture out to.

Anyway, so I’ve been having my daily walks, which has been nice and actually really good for me. 

Today I went for a run.  It was hard.  I have been at an elevation level about 4000 feet lower than Colorado Springs, plus the air is probably still not the greatest, and let’s face it, I’m hella outa shape.  But I ran 1 mile today.  That seems like such a small number, especially considering my senior year of high school I was running 5 mile races, and could easily run 10 miles without having a hard time.

But I ran a mile.  That’s better than nothing.  I’m lapping all the people on the couch, which was me, last week.  So I’m winning.

You don’t always have to start with the mountain

I’m in Colorado Springs, staying with Kale and the kiddos.  I usually enjoy seeing my kiddos, but Man Alive! ever since their mom came back (she left and then came back after almost 2 years, not really in the mood for the details, so if you don’t already know the deats of that situation, sorry!) Tobin has gotten in the habit of saying “I hate you” or “I don’t love you anymore” when he doesn’t get his way.  In turn, I simply respond with “I Love you!” and he hates it, but I think it’s good.  I’m not giving in to him, and I’m reinforcing that my love is unconditional, no matter what happens.

So I’m just hanging out at Kale’s house. I had Kale take the kids to their mom today, because I needed a break after 4 days straight of them. I love them, but for my sanity sake and stress that I’m already feeling, I figured it would be better to have little to no human interaction today.

{Wow, that was more than I wanted to write about that, but alas}

I was feeling kind of chunkers the past few days, so I thought I would go for a hike in Garden of the Gods or Pike’s Peak since I’m here.  However this lovely:

thwarted my plans.  This fire is growing in three different directions, 11,000 people have been evacuated and it’s right on the edge of town, so they shut down GoG and access to Pike’s Peak from Colo Springs.  They still have zero percent containment, and it’s kind of strange thinking this fire is literally maybe 20-30 minutes from where we are.  (Thankfully Kale lives on the South side of town, so we will most likely be out of harms way, because if it does get to Kale’s house that would mean the entire city of Colorado Springs would be GONE, literally.)

So with the fire, I’m not going to be heading out to the mountain today, so I thought about maybe a run.  Then I looked at the weather, and all this week the Springs is expected to reach record highs {triple digits!!!!} and I also realized I didn’t bring a sports bra with me (actually, I didn’t bring a lot of things with me because I left Yuma in such a hurry, that I’m surprised I actually have clean underwear, seriously…. more on why I left so quickly another time.)

Anyway, still feeling a bit chubbers, but not quite as bad as I was, not really sure about why it is certain days I feel fatter than others.  So because I was feeling chubbers, I hopped onto Pinterest to pin weight loss inspiration, and from there, I got onto a blog that kind of made me think about my own body and body issues and my relationship with my Christopher.  Which then made me want to write a post about my relationship with Chris and my body/issues that I have.  Which made me miss him even more than I already have been.  It’s only been a week since I left Yuma and I want to cry because I miss him so much!  I have NEVER felt this way before and I kind of hate it!  I have always been so independent and self-sufficient that leaving friends/boyfriends for any amount of time was never hard on me (kind of a self-defense mechanism really, which is so much deeper that it requires it’s own post on another day.)

I was going to do a diet I did last summer where I lost 40ish pounds and looked fantastic, but between the stress and everything else going on in my life, my diet isn’t working, in fact I just gained like 8 lbs when I was eating less.  So I kind of threw it out the window because it made me kind of depressed which is why I wanted to write a post about my relationship with Chris and my body issues. 

This is a picture I took right before I went on my first date with Christopher.  {If you recall we went out on a blind date}  I was at my thinnest here, after my diet last summer.  This is how Christopher met me.

This is the first picture Chris and I took together.  I had gained a little bit of weight by this time in our relationship, not tons, but a little.

This was the week Chris and I went to Moab, and the week he proposed.  I had gained probably 15-20 lbs from the first time he met me.

From our engagement session.  I actually cropped this picture up, because this was one that originally had Fly in it, and was a full-body picture, but I looked so fat that I couldn’t stand it.  So I cropped out Fly to much of Chris’s dismay, but I like our faces without my fat belly hanging out the middle.

Now, I can’t fit into very many of my clothes.  I bought almost an entire new wardrobe when I lost all my weight, and now I’m kind of fatty again, but lack the funds to buy clothes, but I don’t like wearing clothes too small/tight because I don’t think anyone else wants to see my ick either.  So I’ve been wearing my workout clothes (because I buy them big) and sweats, and if I can get away with it, pajamas. (I can only do the last one if I stay in the house all day, which sometimes I do.)

The reason I type all of this up is two-fold.  One to maybe just solidify that I was thinner, and I can be thinner again, I just need to work at it.  The second is because of my Christopher.  He’s amazing that one.  He met me at my skinniest I had ever been in my life.  Seriously.  And I’ve gained weight since then.  He has never once commented on it, and always tells me he loves me.  When I mention I need to lose weight/ I’m a fatty McFatson, he wraps his arms around me and tells me he loves me just the way I am.  And I believe him, because it’s true.  Chris loves me no matter what.  He would do anything for me, and loves me UN-CON-DITIO-NALLY.  Seriously.

Now I’m not saying that because I have the love of this fantastic man in my life I’m just going to let myself go.  Not at all, maybe the opposite in fact.  I’m not just going to give up, but I’m not going to make my weight my whole life either, because I’ve done that before, for a large portion of my life (again, a whole ‘nother post.)  But I know that Chris will support me and love me through all of my body issues I may have in my life.  He really will, which is why he’s so great.

So maybe, I’ll walk to Taco Bell now, because it’s kind of my guilty pleasure, and I’ll be walking which right there is something.  You gotta start somewhere, right?  And it doesn’t have to be the mountain. 

Meet Ace

Ace is our new addition to our family.  I kind of feel bad, because I told Chris numerous times that we don’t need a puppy/ would not be getting a puppy any time soon.  He begged to have a puppy for his birthday for about 2 months (Kind of like a big kid that way.) 

Anyway, he wanted a Border Collie or McNab and that kind of helped in my saying no, because I hadn’t seen any advertised around here, and I wasn’t willing to go to Denver/Colo Springs to get him a dog we didn’t need. 

On Saturday night, I saw an ad on goyuma (a great site for such a small town, it’s where I’ve gotten most of my furniture, a localized craig’s list, if you will.)  They advertised 4 male border collies, which is what Chris was wanting. 

Chris called on Sunday after work so we could go look at them, and Sunday afternoon we went and picked up this little cutie.

He’s a pretty mellow puppy.  Not overly stimulated or clingy, and has the cutest little face imaginable.

I’m still a little in shock… Definitely an impulse buy for me, I think Chris decided he was going to buy one as soon as I told him about the ad.

But he’s a keeper, wouldn’t you agree?

One Year Down

I have to say I am SOOO grateful that the end of school has come! It was my first year teaching, and my first year out of school, and it was a HARD year!

I know everyone says that your first year of teaching is the hardest, but I think my situation was a bit unique.

I think I mentioned that the first few months everyone kept asking me not to leave, don’t leave during the school year, they have teachers leave in the middle of the school year all the time. That was a little disconcerting.

I got here in August and my administration started just before me, so our school district was starting with ALL new administration. After a month into the school year, our principal resigned. From there it just got harder, for reasons I just can’t even explain.

It was a little comforting that the seasoned teachers all had a really tough year as well, and they were just as ready as I was for the summer to be here.

I have to say, my first year of teaching was definitely an adventure, one that I didn’t always enjoy, but I saw it through to the end, and sometimes it wasn’t easy, in fact, it was NEVER easy, but I did it.

I have always wanted to be a teacher, and I do love teaching, but this year carried many challenges with it. Hopefully next year will be better, but right now, I’m enjoying my summer, thinking that the school year is going to come too fast.

The biggest Adventure

As some as you may already know at the end of our trip to Moab, Christopher proposed!

Now, you’re probably wondering the story, and if you aren’t then too bad, I’m going to tell you anyway!

We had just gotten back from Moab, and were unloading the car.  I was carrying the cooler when I came inside and Chris was, I guess you could say, waiting for me.

He asked me to come sit with him, and then expressed how much he loved me, and how he wanted to spend the rest of forever with me.  He told me how much I mean to him and how he couldn’t imagine a future without me.

I was a little surprised at the timing, and he then told me originally he was going to put the ring in a plastic egg in my Easter basket, but because of his changed schedule he wasn’t going to have Easter off to spend with me.

It’s weird to think how everything a year ago was leading me here, right here to Yuma.  I didn’t know why, but everything just fell into place for me to come here.  And two years ago, the same thing happened to Christopher.  He and I never wanted to end up in a place like Yuma, nor did we ever feel like we were coming here permanently, but I guess God had His hands in things, creating a way for us to meet, because that is the only way to describe our relationship and our circumstance.

I met Chris on a blind date.  I don’t know how many of you knew that.  But it was weird.  I felt comfortable around him after such a short time.  I was giddy every time I thought about him.  I wanted to spend time with him, like all my free time with him.  After only a few dates, I felt like I had known him for a really long time, that our connection was much deeper than two people who had just met.

And now, seven months later, we are set to get married in two short months in August.

I am so happy to have found someone as wonderful as Christopher. I love him so much and am so amazed at his patience with me every day. I don’t know how he does it, but I’m glad he does.

Farewell to Moab

By the time Friday rolled around, we were pretty tired, and the weather had turned for the worse.  I tried making breakfast, but because of the wind I couldn’t keep the stove lit.  It was cold, and I didn’t have any really warm clothes except my jacket (which I think I learned my lesson, because it was snowing when we got to Durango.) 

I did want to do one more short hike though, so after packing up camp, we went to Arches one last time.

I also realized we needed a park entrance photo, because we hadn’t taken one yet.  Chris wasn’t in the mood of asking other people to take our picture, so he just snapped a couple of just me before moving on.

We also stopped for a photo op of the balancing rock.

I really wanted Chris to go to the Sand Dune Arch with me.  It’s crazy cool, and I thought we would really enjoy it.  Well, because of the wind, let’s just say neither one of us enjoyed it, at all.  So no pictures, and then we left to come home to Yuma.

I loved our Spring Break.  It was such a nice break from Yuma and from school and teaching.