A Simple Prayer

Chris has been coming to church with me on his weekends off (he only has every other weekend) and it has been so nice not to go alone. We always joked that he was a better Mormon than me anyway, so now he's learning that he really kind of is.

Last night we had the missionaries over for dinner, and we had a lesson on prayer. We went over the essentials and the steps of prayer and wrote down things we could pray about in our lives currently. Last night was the first time Chris had ever heard me utter a prayer, and I felt really bad because I have not been a very good example to him. 

We were challenged to start having nightly prayers together, and to pray for things we need as a couple. And last night before bed, I heard Chris's first spoken prayer. It was so simple and sweet. My heart was full. I love him so much and coming closer to our Heavenly Father together is the best adventure yet.

Once Upon A Time & Happily Ever After

When Christopher and I drove to California and back for the holidays, we had a lot of time to talk (close to 50 hours of driving in the car total.) 

In our many conversations that took place one comment took me by surprise:

"You don't like the idea of being married."

When Chris said this to me, he didn't say it with malice or hatred, but with understanding. I know that it must be difficult for him to be married to someone that doesn't enjoy it. 

I was not offended, but merely caught off guard. 

But he's right. I don't like the idea of marriage.

When I was growing up, I always envisioned my life with children, but never with a man by my side. And I always thought I was different because of my beliefs and where I lived, but when I went to university and was surrounded by people who had the same beliefs, I realized I was still different.

Most people LOVE the idea of marriage, but then once they become married, the reality is a lot harder than the idea, and then they hate everything about marriage, including the idea of it. Now I know I'm making a generalized statement and this isn't the case for everyone.

But for me, I really don't like the idea of marriage.  

Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Chris, and I would never ever want to be without him. In fact, for as much as I don't like the idea of marriage, I like the idea of living without Chris even less; he really is my everything. 

And to be honest, being married to Christopher really isn't all that bad, in fact, I may actually LIKE the idea of being married to him :)

Resolutions and Ramblings

If most of you knew how my year was, you would understand why I was so happy to say goodbye to this past year. Most of you know bits and pieces, but to sum it up: the entire year sucked. Seriously. Good riddance!

I am more than happy to bring 2014, for so many reasons.  I am sure it is going to be a better year. Plus 14 is my lucky number, a really good number, so I'm trying really hard to be optimistic that this year will be grand!

Chris and I sat down on New Year's Eve and wrote out a list of resolutions, personal and together.

I asked Chris to give me three to five attributes he wanted me to work on. With how horrible my year was, I let myself fall into a place I'm not proud to be in, and I really want to work on making him happy, because by making Chris happy, I will in turn be happy because I am making the man I love happy. (There's a lot of happy happening.) 

My list (in no particular order):

Try new things

Forgive myself and others

Show Chris I love him

Be appreciative of what I have

Stop questioning Chris's love for me

Stop questioning our marriage

Have more confidence in myself

Be more willing to help (esp Chris w/ chores, animals, etc.)

Read my scriptures every day

Stop making excuses

Stop drinking soda (i.e. Dr. Pepper)

Drink at least 4 glasses of water every day

Write on my blog at least once a week

I dare you to guess which ones Chris came up with.

I am actually really happy with this list, and I feel it is very doable.

For US in 2014:

Strengthen our marriage/relationship

Trust each other more

Lose 60 lbs. ( this was actually listed separately for each of us, but I figure this was a little better, because then you won't know what we each are wanting to lose, but yes, we both have weight we are wanting to shed)

Pay off all credit cards

Eat at the kitchen table (we do, but we also eat on the couch a lot too.  We want to get to a point where we only sit at the table, so when we eventually have babies, it will already be a habit)

Pay off one student loan

Go camping at least once

Tear down old house

Plant trees for windbreak

Clean up yard

Plant flowers in front

Expand garden

Finish removing "jungle"

Finish chicken coop

Clean up property

Fence for dogs

Declutter

Stop eating out (i.e. Fast food)

Go 100% gluten free

Make shoe rack

Make memory table for Grandpa Wagoner's things we received

Make night stands

Make shelving

And because this is not Chris's space, I will protect his privacy and not post his list on here for everyone and their mother to read, but just know he also asked what things I would like for him to work on for him to be a better husband, and then he also added a few other items he wants to work on.

I have resolved to making a plan for our goals, because it's one thing to write them down, it's another to actually attain them, so a plan is the best way to ensure the best results.  The first part of my plan is to type/print up our resolutions and put them in a place where we will see them and be reminded of them every day.  We have created a plan for losing weight, and we are just helping each other as we go.  We realize these things aren't going to happen overnight, and that's okay. We will work on one or two at a time until they become a habit, and then start on another.  

Also, I realize our "us" resolutions sound more like a to-do list, and in a way it is, but that's okay. We are still going to be doing those things together, and by doing those things together, we will be working on the most important resolution we set for us, which is strengthening our marriage and relationship with one another.

So while I'm sure none of you care about what I resolve to do in 2014, it's a place for me to record my thoughts, to record my feelings, and to hold myself accountable.  Also, this counts as a post for this week.